Fear stops many of us from truly expressing who we are and achieving our dreams. Some of us are risk takers, all of us make mistakes and I would say all of us have experienced fear at some stage or another. In this article I am talking about the type of fear that stops us from moving on, achieving what we want in life and being happy.

Do I or don't I?

I am a risk taker. I take calculated risks. Taking risks is good.  I'm not talking about anything that could physically harm you, end your life, investing in shonky shares, or God forbid, riding on a rollercoaster! My friends and family will find that very amusing.  I am still working on my rollercoaster fear! 

The  lesson I have learnt through my own experience is that if you move through the fear, acknowledge it's there, but just do what you want to do anyway, it gets easier and easier until the fear no longer exists. I remember the first cold call I had to make.  I kept putting it off and putting it off, until eventually I picked up the phone shaking with fear and made my call.  To my delight, the lady on the other end was very pleasant.  It took a lot more calls before I got to the stage where I can happily pick up the phone and cold call anyone without even thinking about what I'm going to say, it is such a natural thing for me to do now. 

Let's take for example speaking in front of people. The thought used to make me break out into a sweat, and I'm sure many of you will know what I am talking about. Now, I don't think twice about it, because I made myself get up in front of the mic whenever the opportunity arose and I just got used to it. This is a good thing, because my goal for next year is to be on the speaking circuit. To prepare myself for this goal I have taken some other steps. I am writing a book about my very interesting and at times challenging life. In the past I would have been too scared to think of myself as an author, what if people found me uninteresting and boring? To overcome this fear I started to write articles for others to read and had them published on various article websites. The feedback has been very positive.  I took the risk to have some of them published and because I did I have the confidence to keep writing.  I find that when I start talking to people about my challenges in life and how I started this business, they are very interested, so I'm writing about it.

Another example is this ezine. My subscriber list grows every week and I have very few opt-outs. When I first started to publish it, every time I hit the send button I worried. What if I had a spelling mistake or I annoyed people? Yes, I was scared but I still did it.  Now Coyote's Featured Article is a major part of my marketing and receives very positive feedback.

The biggest risk I took was leaving my full time job to start the bureau. In hindsight I think I should have kept the full time job for a bit longer, as it was very challenging.  I am glad I did because I am so passionate about what I do. It was terrifying making the decision to leave that paid security but I did it anyway, I figured I could always get another job if things didn't turn out. It was not a decision I made in haste.   It took quite a few painful months to finally do it, and then when I did, I gave 5 weeks notice just to be on the safe side.   I look back now and think about the risks I took, but I am so grateful I did. 

Sometimes in life we miss out on the things we really want because we are too scared to move out of our comfort zone. We won't ask that person out because we might get rejected.  We won't write that book because it might not get published. We won't stand up and do that comedy routine because we might get booed off stage. We won't commit to a relationship because we might get hurt. We won't leave our job because our new one might be worse. We won't spend that money on a holiday because we might need it in an emergency. We won't ask that question we want in a seminar because people might think we are stupid. We won't enter the talent contest because we might not win. We won't say I love you because they might not love us back.

Life isn't long enough to fit everything into it, so don't focus on failing, focus on trying and succeeding. Take the risk, what do you really have  to lose?

If you are fearful of doing something that you desperately want to, and you try but it doesn't work out the way you planned, so what? Another chapter of your life closed...next exciting adventure please!